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Dear Miss CC SoulShaker,
I just found out my father may have cancer and the whole family is upset and
concerned but here is my problem. OK, yes I am worried about him too and hope
he is ok BUT I have a lot of problems with my father. He was very abusive when
I was young (emotional and physical) and I am not close with him. I never see
him. How do I handle this? My sister and mother want me to make up with him
and be there for him but I don't want to. I don't want to have anything to do
with him frankly.What do I do? How can I handle this?
-Can't Forgive & Forget in Las Vegas.
Dear "Can't Forgive and Forget",
I am sorry your father is sick! I am also very sorry for the abuse in your
childhood. I know what it feels like to be abused by a parent. I have lived to
be able to deal with it. Many years of therapy helped. I know this is a very
tough situation for you and only YOU can make the descision. If your father is
dying though you really need to think about this. Your time with him may be
limited and when he is gone, he is gone. Even if you have bad feelings for him
and can't "forive and forget" he still is your father. Talk to him. Be honest
with your feelings. It sounds like you may have unresolved issues with him
that you need to deal with. You may not get another chance. As for your
family, you need to tell them to respect your feelings and try to stay off
your back about it. They are upset and scared too and concerned for you as
well as him. I hope it works out! If you need a friend to talk to then e-mail
me privately (SoulShker@aol.com) or feel free to contact me on ICQ (#14049743).
Wishing you the best,
C.C. SoulShker
Dear C.C. Soul Shaker,
My boyfriend has been complaining our sex life is getting too dull. Can you
give me some ideas on how to spice up our activities in the bedroom? He said
he wants to buy me a vibrator. WOW! I don't know if I am ready for that.
HELP!!
-Nervous Between the Sheets
Dear "Nervous",
Sex Questions! Oh my favorite kind. You've come to the right spot! The best
way to add some VaVaVoom to the bedroom is VARIETY and IMAGINATION. Let
yourself become a bit uninhibited with your man and not only will you drive
him wild you will feel sexy and ready for some lovin'. When was the last time
you dressed in black lacey lingerie, dusted some Kama Sutra Honey Dust (smells
and tastes yummy) over your body, and ambushed him? Nothing cools the flames
like the same over-sized t-shirt and bunny slippers every night. Another trick
to get him going is to ambush him in the shower. Picture this: he's taking a
shower in the morning getting ready for work and trying to wake up and in the
middle of everything you stip down and slide in with him and start planting
kisses all over his wet naked bod. Believe me, he'll wake up FAST and love you
and your sexy ways. Don't be afraid to try costumes and toys to add a little
fun. Sex is fun...let yourself play games and laugh.
As for the vibrator...oh hunny let him buy it for you. Forget diamonds- a
woman's real best friend is her vibrator! Just try it once. I promise you
won't be complaining. ;-)
Sending you some AA batteries and a pair of fur-lined cuffs,
C.C. SoulShker
YO..C.C. SOULSHKER,
I'M IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN WHO IS DATING MY FRIEND. SHE AND I HIT IT OFF SO WELL
AND SHE IS SO SEXY. WHEN I FIRST SAW HER I WANTED HER AND THE FEELING IS
MUTUAL. I WANT TO BE WITH HER BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THE FRIENDSHIP WITH MY
BUDDY. WHAT DO I DO?
-THE GUILTY MAN
Dear "Guilty",
Oh what a tangled web you weave! Is she as serious about you as you are about
her? Before you hurt your friend make sure you and the lady in question are on
the same level. If she really likes you then she shouldn't be with him, she
should be with you. You need to talk to your friend before this goes any
farther. He is going to be mad and feel betrayed but if your friendship is
strong then hopefully in time he will understand. Honesty is the best
policy.She really needs to tell her boyfriend that she has found someone else
or the hurt is just going to get worse and worse. Plus it can't be easy on
your two feeling guilty. I hope it all works out and everyone can stay
friends!
Trying to untie the knots,
C.C. SoulShker
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