|
Dear C.C.,
I'm falling in love with a man who spends most of his time dreaming of
pineapples and feeling their fleshy insides, what's the best way to mop a floor?
-Chiquita Bananna
Dear Chiquita,
Everyone has their little quirks and if you really love the man then cater to
his whims and dress up like Carmen- headdress, coconut bra, and all and let
your pinapple loving stud feel your fleshy insides! Bring his favorite fruit
into the bedroom by feeding him pinapple cubes and dripping pinapple sauce
down your front. You get the idea. He'll be happy and as an added bonus I
heard if a man eats a lot of pinapple his juices will taste sweet. Everyone is
happy then right?
As for the best way to mop a floor...tell your prickly fruit loving stud to
hire you a maid in exchange for your naked Carmen "Oy oy oy" impressions!
Pinapple wishes and sweet sperm dreams,
C.C. SoulShker
Dear C.C.,
I usually fly off the handle at annoying newbies (well, because they're
newbies and deserve anything I give them) for doing the most miniscule
things, how do I crush their skulls into a bloody pulp?
Newbie killer,
J.H.
Dear J.H.,
I'm trying not to take offence to this since I am a "newbie" myself but I'd
say when wanting to bash someone's skull in: the age old method of a bat works
for me! But since you are on IRC and can't physically attack them then
challenge them to a battle of Dream Theater related wits. I'll gladly me the
moderator. Drag the little offenders into iParty and let the games begin.
Muhahhaha!
I am a newbie dammit.
C.C. SoulShker
Dear C.C.,
I was going out with this girl for a while, and it just didn't work out.
The sex was good, but we were on a different level as far as a "relationship"
goes, so we stopped seeing each other. I think because she is recently divorced,
she's a bit wary of getting serious with anyone again. Though lately she's been
hinting that she'd like to see me again... at least in the bedroom, if you know
what I mean. Do you think she's just after my dick, or do you think she might
have changed her mind about our relationship? I know I should ask HER, but it's
hard to figure out what she really means from what she says, so I'm asking you
first... what do you think?
-Wondering
Dear Wondering,
Are you seeing anybody right now? The question you need to ask yourself is do
you like the girl more than just a fuck friend? If she's after your dick again
it must mean you were pretty good but that is all she is after. Don't let your
emotions get tangled up in this if you decide to go for it though. I'd hate to
see you brokenhearted because of another fling.
Good luck and use condoms!,
C.C. SoulShker
|
